Gottman Method Couples Therapy & Couples Counseling

The initial, primary method I use in assessment and intervention with couples is the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman because this method is based on over 40 years of research on what predicts relationship breakup and divorce and what, in contrast, predicts people being in happy, long-term satisfying relationships. I also utilize Dr. Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy and Terrence Real’s Relational Life Therapy in this process.

80 minute Sessions

All sessions in this process are 80 minutes, which length is also called a double session, and which is the session length shown by research as being most effective with couples.

The Data-Based Assessment & Intervention Process

The first session involves me meeting with the two of you and getting information from the two of you about what you are seeking help with and what has brought you to this point, gathering some background information about your relationship, and, ends with me observing the two of you discussing a topic of conflict which you have not yet resolved. This observation allows me to get a baseline of what dynamics we need to help the two of you shift and what behaviors we need to place with healthier behaviors.

Between the first and second sessions, the two of you will complete some relationship questionnaires. This is like doing the bloodwork and x-rays if you had a physical problem. Using the metaphor of having a physical problem to illustrate, one of you may be seeking relief for some eczema on your skin that is itchy and makes it extremely difficult for you to focus or concentrate on things, and your partner may be seeking relief for planter warts that cause a shooting pain each time he or she takes a step. However, if I find from the analysis of your relationship questionnaires, that your relationship is in a coma or has a head wound, I need to prioritize addressing the coma and head wound first, from a perspective of clinical urgency and overall positive impact.

The data I am gathering during the 3-4 session assessment process enables me to have the maximum clinical impact on your relationship, best prioritize the steps in the process of our work together, and make the most of the time and money you are investing in this process and your relationship.

For the second session, I meet with each of you for 80 minutes individually, which allows you to speak without a filter about your perspective on the issues in your relationship and without fears of upsetting your partner or making the problems between the two of you worse. This session also enables me to ask you any questions I have about your answers from the relationship questionnaires, and to gather information about you individually, your family of origin, trauma you have experienced and previous romantic relationships. If you have an extensive history in these regards, I may need to meet for a second session with each of you individually.

For the third session, the three of us will meet together again for the feedback session. This is the session where I will teach you about and explain each of the metrics of relationship success from the Gottman Method research. I will ask the two of you where each of you think you stand as a couple on each of these metrics and I will tell you where I think you stand as a couple on each of the metrics based on my observations of the two of you together, meeting with each of you individually and the analysis of the data from the relationship questionnaires. Based on those areas that need improvement or are weaknesses in your relationship, we will create therapy goals for your relationship during that third session and we will proceed with intervention from there.

Couples Therapy and Couples Counseling

My approach as a couples therapist is to focus on what is happening between the two of you, and using my expertise and clinical experience to help empower the two of you to develop skills and processes which you can use to effectively address any issue in your relationship. Our goals often include improving your communication skills, connection and intimacy, conflict management skills and your understanding of and support of each other as equal partners.

The goal is NOT to label one partner as “right” and the other as “wrong” nor to put a halo on one of you and give a pitchfork and pointed tail to the other so to speak. My focus is to help the two of you to create the relationship you want with each other.

Experience Hope, Empowerment, Connection, Support, Understanding, and Healing through Effective Therapy

If this approach sounds like a good fit for what you and your partner are looking for, please contact me through the contact form on this page in order to request to schedule your 45 minute phone consultation today.

Please Note: I am a fee-for-service, private pay therapist, which means that you are responsible to pay the fee for each session at the time of the session. Many of my clients pay for their therapy with their health savings account or flexible spending account, while others pay with cash or card.

Most insurance plans don’t cover couples therapy to address relationship issues. However, If you're interested in having your insurance help pay for your couples therapy, I'd recommend you call your plan and ask them specifically whether they cover couples therapy without giving one partner a mental health disorder diagnosis. I am considered an out-of-network provider for all insurance plans. You can get more information about seeking out-of-network reimbursement from your insurance plan by clicking on this link where I explain the process: Out of Network Reimbursement