Christy Kobe, LCSW, CCTP’s Blog Articles
SLC Therapist, Utah Therapist and EMDR Therapist Utah.
What I do Differently to Provide the Best Therapy
In my over 20 years of practicing as a therapist since 2003, I have developed a unique approach that is different and more effective than the approaches of the majority of therapists in order to provide you with the best therapy possible, in person in the Salt Lake area and via telehealth for residents throughout the state of Utah.
First, I use a session length and frequency that is more effective. Specifically, I use 80 minute sessions because longer sessions like this have been shown to be best, as the gold standard, in helping people to really work though and heal trauma and relationship issues, and I meet with my clients a minimum of once every 2 weeks which is the frequency that allows us to create the most change, progress and momentum, both during sessions and between sessions.
Secondly, I have invested significant time, effort and money in completing specialized, advanced clinical training and certifications in therapy models that are the most effective at addressing the causes of issues rather than just treating symptoms. these models are what I have found to be the best in helping people to heal, grow and thrive rather than just cope and survive. In order to get the very best training, I have completed that training personally with the developer of the therapeutic model. For example, I have found Modified-Protocol EMDR to be dramatically more effective, positively impactful, safe and centered on the needs of the client, than the Traditional Protocol of EMDR which is the model in which most EMDR therapists are trained and practice. The Modified Protocol is much more effective for people with childhood trauma, relational trauma or multiple traumas whereas the Traditional Protocol is most effective for a single incident trauma like a car accident. So, I invested the time and money into traveling to upstate New York and then the following year to a remote location in California in order to be trained personally by the developer of the Modified Protocol. Dr. Laurel Parnell. Then, to further increase my expertise and competence in using the Modified Protocol of EMDR, I completed EMDRIA certification in EMDR through a world renowned consultant and trainer on this model.
As another example, I completed intensive training in Polyvagal Theory from Dr. Stephen Porges himself who developed the model and from Deb Dana, LCSW, who has adapted the model for use in clinical psychotherapy. This model of how the autonomic nervous system works, what causes us to get triggered and how to work with the nervous system has informed and positively impacted all of the work I do with clients because it creates such powerful understanding, removes shame from our physiological and emotional responses, and empowers people by giving them much greater understanding of themselves as well as tools to work with your nervous system rather than against it.
Last, in an effort to be the best therapist in the Salt Lake area and virtually throughout Utah, I'm a therapist who does and continues to do her own work, healing and growth—both personally and professionally—though my own personal therapy as a client myself, consultation with colleagues, good self-care to prevent burnout, going above and beyond the minimal requirements for continuing education in the trainings I complete, continuing to research and educate myself regarding new research and neuroscience findings, and only taking on a manageable number of clients so that I can consistently provide the best and highest quality therapy.
In over 20 years of practicing as a therapist since 2003, I have developed a unique approach that is different and more effective than the approaches of many therapists in order to provide you with the best therapy, in person in the Salt Lake area and via telehealth for residents throughout the state of Utah.
Longer sessions (also known as “double sessions”) at more effective frequency
First, I use a session length and frequency that is more effective. Specifically, I use 80 minute sessions because longer sessions like this have been shown to be best, as the gold standard, in helping people to really work though and heal trauma and relationship issues, and along with these longer sessions, I meet with my clients a minimum of once every 2 weeks which is the frequency that allows us to create the most change, progress and momentum, both during sessions and between sessions.
Intensive training in therapy models that address causes rather than just treating symptoms
Secondly, I have invested significant time, effort and money in completing advanced, specialized clinical training and certifications in therapy models that are the most effective at addressing the causes of issues rather than just treating symptoms. These models are what I have found to be the best therapy in helping people to heal, grow and thrive rather than just cope and survive. In order to get the very best training, I have completed that training personally with the developer of the therapeutic model.
For example, I have found Modified-Protocol EMDR to be dramatically more effective, positively impactful, safe and centered on the needs of the client, than the Traditional Protocol of EMDR which is the model in which most EMDR therapists are trained and practice. The Modified Protocol is much more effective for people with childhood trauma, relational trauma or multiple traumas whereas the Traditional Protocol is most effective for a single incident trauma like a car accident. So, I invested the time and money into traveling to upstate New York and then the following year to a remote location in California in order to be trained personally by the developer of the Modified Protocol, Dr. Laurel Parnell. Then, to further increase my expertise and competence in using the Modified Protocol of EMDR, I completed EMDRIA certification in EMDR through an internationally renowned consultant and trainer on this model, Julie Probus-Schad, LCSW.
As another example, I completed intensive training in Polyvagal Theory from Dr. Stephen Porges himself who developed the model and from Deb Dana, LCSW, who has adapted the model for use in clinical psychotherapy. This model of how the autonomic nervous system works, what causes us to get triggered and how to work with the nervous system has informed and positively impacted all of the work I do with clients because it creates such powerful understanding, removes shame from your physiological and emotional responses, and empowers you by giving you much greater understanding of yourself as well as tools to work with your nervous system rather than against it.
Continuing to do my own work, healing and growth personally and professionally
Last, in an effort to be the best therapist that I can be, in the Salt Lake area and virtually throughout Utah, I'm a therapist who does and continues to do her own work, healing and growth—both personally and professionally—though my own personal therapy as a client myself, consultation with colleagues, good self-care to prevent burnout, completing trainings that far surpass the minimal requirements for continuing education for maintaining my professional license, continuing to research and educate myself regarding new research and neuroscience findings, and only taking on a manageable number of clients so that I can consistently provide the best and highest quality therapy.
Choosing a Therapist who is a Good Fit for You
Choosing a therapist who is a good fit for you is an important, personal decision. Each therapist has certain types of people with whom they work most effectively. I’ve put together a list below of some of the traits and behaviors of clients with whom I’ve achieved the best results in my work. I might be the right therapist for you if any of the following apply to you:
Choosing a therapist who is a good fit for you is an important and personal decision. Each therapist or counselor has certain types of people with whom they work most effectively.
So, I’ve put together a list below of some of the traits and behaviors of clients with whom I’ve achieved the best results in my work. I might be the right therapist for you if any of the following apply to you:
You worry about the future.
You spend a significant amount of time thinking about situations or relationships.
You enjoy learning new things, and try to learn from your mistakes.
You try to improve things by identifying what you can do differently and working on that.
You feel guilty or anxious when you displease others.
You have very high expectations of yourself.
You are a sensitive person, and like to understand what happened and cause and effect.
You put others’ needs before your own, and end up feeling resentful sometimes.
You want to be able to talk through a problem.
You want to help others understand why there is a problem.
You are self-reflective and take responsibility for solving problems.
You view life as an opportunity to improve yourself and enjoy developing your capabilities.
You are willing to change in order to improve a situation or relationship.
You feel overwhelmed with your current struggles.
If any of these things sound like you, I hope you’ll contact me using the contact form on this page to reach me most quickly, or you may also email or call me to request to set up a 45 minute phone consultation. I’m looking forward to meeting you and playing a part in your journey!
The Best and Most Recommended Books for Couples Wanting to Improve Your Relationship
Although reading a book often isn’t enough to significantly change the quality and direction of a relationship long-term, I have found in my 15+ years of practice that books can be an excellent resource to enable couples to stabilize and improve their relationship more quickly, in combination with our work in couples therapy.
Although reading a book often isn’t enough to significantly change the quality and direction of a relationship long-term, I have found in my 15+ years of practice that books can be an excellent resource to enable couples to stabilize and improve their relationship more quickly, in combination with our work in couples therapy.
As a result, I am always looking for and reading books and other helpful resources to potentially recommend to my clients. Thus, I have read a LOT of books over the years and continue to do so.
With the desire for you to experience the benefits of quicker relationship improvement, and to make it easier for you to identify the specific books I most highly and most often recommend as the best books for couples, I’ve created this short list with links where you can purchase each book, along with a short summary of each to help you choose the one that’s best for you and your relationship:
1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John Gottman Ph.D. and Nan Silver
As a Gottman Method Couples Therapist, this is the Gottman research-based book I recommend most often and most highly to couples.
This book talks about the predictors of relationship breakup and divorce, and the antidotes to each of those predictors, that were identified by John Gottman and his colleagues in their research.
It provides multiple exercises to do with your partner to strengthen your friendship, information about positive and healthy communication and interaction, and information for improving your understanding of the conflicts in your relationship and what you can do to respond to those conflicts more effectively.
I genuinely believe that nearly every couple would benefit from reading and applying this book to themselves as individuals and to their relationship.
2. The New Rules of Marriage
by Terrence Real
This book takes things to the next level, and is a great tool for after you have mastered the skills in the two books I have recommended above.
This book will enable you to evaluate your intimacy as a couple in the intellectual, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual domains.
It provides a lot of information for helping you to better understand your perceptions of and reactions to your partner, how to more clearly express what you want and need in your relationship, communication errors to avoid, and guidelines for how to better listen to and respond to your partner.
This book will provide guidelines for creating a healthier, stronger, more passionate and romantic, deeply connected, life long partnership with your best friend and life-long lover.
If you are unhappy in your relationship, don’t feel like a team, or feel like your partner has shut you out, this could be an excellent book for you.
This book tends is especially popular among women.
If you recognize that you could use additional assistance, support and professional guidance beyond what these books can provide, please contact reach out to me using the contact form on this page to reach me most quickly, or you may also email or call to request to schedule a 45 minute phone consultation to explore how I can assist you.
Please note that I will receive a small amount on purchases made from my website in return for directing people to the books I recommend most highly as an experienced therapist. However, I have been recommending these books and others to my clients, friends and family as long as I have been in practice, and will continue to recommend these particular books even if I don’t receive any compensation whatsoever.
What is EMDR therapy and Modified Protocol, Attachment-Focused EMDR therapy?
Modified Protocol, AF-EMDR therapy might be a good fit for you if you struggle with smaller traumas that manifest as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, phobias, creativity blocks, relationship difficulties, not feeling fully alive, not enjoying life, difficulty making important decisions and taking action, intense emotional reactions to certain situations or people, difficult relationships in the family with whom you grew up, or issues in your relationships as an adult.
What is EMDR?
EMDR is an acronym for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, which is a powerful and effective method of therapy for treating trauma.
Trauma may be best be defined as “a psychological, emotional response to an event or an experience that is deeply distressing or disturbing” [1].
EMDR therapy incorporates eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation into an in-depth, comprehensive, mind-body approach to processing pieces of distressing experiences that are stuck in the mind and body—in a way that positively transforms the memory, physiological sensations, emotions and beliefs associated with the experience [2].
EMDR has extensively been researched over the past few decades as a treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is considered to be an evidence-based therapy for trauma [3 & 4].
In addition to treating PTSD, EMDR is also used to treat the mental and emotional effects of a wide variety of smaller traumas that manifest as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, phobias, creativity blocks, and relationship difficulties [2].
What differentiates EMDR therapy from something like medication per se is that EMDR therapy enables us to treat and address the causes of the issues rather than just treating symptoms.
What is Modified Protocol, Attachment-Focused EMDR?
The development of Attachment-Focused EMDR began in 1991. This modified protocol of the therapy was developed by Laurel Parnell by whom I was trained personally.
Dr. Parnell developed AF-EMDR for clients who have typically been less responsive to traditional EMDR protocols, who had experienced things such as childhood physical or sexual abuse, neglect, early losses, birth trauma, medical trauma, parental drug or alcohol abuse, caregiver misattunement, or secondary trauma [2].
AF-EMDR therapy might be a good fit for you if you struggle with anxiety, depression, not feeling fully alive, not enjoying life, difficulty making important decisions and taking action, intense emotional reactions to certain situations or people, difficult relationships in the family with whom you grew up, or issues in your relationships as an adult.
Processing and healing can occur much more rapidly than with talk therapy alone, and clearing these negative effects often results in people experiencing greater joy, peace, meaning, depth, openness, and connection in their lives and relationships.
If any of these sound like things you have experienced or things with which you struggle, please contact me through the contact form on this page to reach me most quickly, or you may also email or call me to request to schedule your 45 minute phone consultation.
In my experiences, Attachment-Focused EMDR is a more client-centered, flexible and intuitive method of EMDR.
I have found that Attachment-Focused EMDR enables and creates healing in ways that simply are not possible with talk therapy alone.
EMDR enables us to effectively work through a wide variety of triggers or things we haven’t been able to let go of, and genuinely move forward in our lives and relationships.
References:
http://centerforanxietydisorders.com/what-is-trauma/
http://parnellemdr.com/emdr-and-af-emdr/?fbclid=IwAR2ZvmEa7uxLvVm072RTVpA5SMXdOtM3j4dJc8H2ks1a-tghX-RuAgRFtqs
http://www.emdr.com/efficacy/
https://www.emdrhap.org/content/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Research_2015.pdf
How to Find a Therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah
In my experience, most people don’t seek out therapy as a first resort when they are faced with an problem in their lives or relationships. You are, of course, an intelligent and self-sufficient person. So, you first use the coping skills you know of such as researching the problem online, talking with friends or family, reading self-help books, exercising or maybe practicing yoga. And it is only when you have exhausted all of your coping skills and are still struggling, that you reach out to see if counseling or therapy might help!
So, how do you find a therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah?
You may go online to do a Google search and be overwhelmed by the number of different counselors and therapists in our area. It can be very challenging to determine from the many listed which counselors or therapists specialize in treating the problem you are struggling with, use the treatment method that will be the best fit for your unique problem, and which therapist you will feel most comfortable in working with. Perhaps most important, you’d like to know what other clients have experienced in working with these potential counselors and therapists in order to make an educated decision in selecting the therapist that is the best fit for you and what you’re looking for.
A great website and resource which provides this information about the counselors and therapists is www.healthgrades.com. Healthgrades provides specific information about each counselor’s specializations, conditions they treat, treatment approaches they utilize, and it provides anonymous client reviews to give you a better understanding of whether that counselor or therapist might be a good fit for you and your needs.
In my experience, most people don’t seek out therapy as a first resort when they are faced with a problem in their lives or relationships.
You are, of course, an intelligent and self-sufficient person.
So, you first use the coping skills you know of, such as researching the problem online, talking with friends or family, reading self-help books, exercising or maybe practicing yoga.
And it is only when you have exhausted all of your coping skills and are still struggling, that you reach out to see if counseling or therapy might help!
So, how do you find a therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah?
I highly recommend asking friends and family members for the name and contact information of any therapists with whom they’ve had a great experience.
A referral from someone you trust, who knows you and who can share their experiences is often the very best way to find a therapist who is likely to be a good fit for you as well.
Or you may choose to go online to do a Google search. However, in doing an online search, you may be overwhelmed by the number of different counselors and therapists in our area.
It can be very challenging to determine from the many listed which counselors or therapists specialize in treating the problem you are struggling with, use the treatment method that will be the best fit for your unique problem, and which therapist you will feel most comfortable in working with.
Perhaps most important, you’d like to know what other clients have experienced in working with these potential counselors and therapists in order to make an educated decision in selecting the therapist that is the best fit for you and what you’re looking for.
A great website and resource which provides this information about the counselors and therapists is www.healthgrades.com.
Healthgrades provides specific information about each counselor’s specializations, conditions they treat, treatment approaches they utilize, and it provides anonymous client reviews to give you a better understanding of whether that counselor or therapist might be a good fit for you and your needs.
You can review my Healthgrades profile by clicking on this link below:
UPDATE and Public Service Announcement: Healthgrades.com has unfortunately chosen to contract with the disreputable and unethical tech company, BetterHelp, which is often falsely claiming that the therapists on the Healthgrades.com website are not accepting new patients and re-directing site visitors to contact BetterHelp therapists instead.
I strongly recommend that you don’t use BetterHelp due to their selling clients’ names and diagnoses to third parties, among other things. See this link for more info about the FTC case and this link for more info about the FTC order and $7.8 million fine of BetterHelp.
Instead, of using BetterHelp, I strongly recommend you call or email the therapists you find on Healthgrades.com who sound like they might be a good fit for you, in order to inquire directly about whether or not they are accepting new clients.
SLC Therapist, Utah Therapist and EMDR Therapist Utah
Blog articles to help you, your family, and friends today.