Christy Kobe, LCSW, CCTP’s Blog Articles
SLC Therapist, Utah Therapist and EMDR Therapist Utah.
More Frequently Asked Questions About Therapy
When something emotional, mental or in relationships is negatively impacting your ability to function at home, work, school or in relationships, it would be a good idea to seek out the assistance of a therapist. This could be when you feel so much anxiety that it’s difficult for you be effective as a parent or focus at work, when stress you are experiencing in one area of your life is really bleeding over into another and preventing you from being present or effective in that other area or relationship in your life, or when you’re getting so upset by things that you’re not able to complete your responsibilities.
In cases like these, a licensed therapist can assist you in deepening your understanding of the issue, working through it in various ways, and increasing your skills for effectively addressing or coping with it.
KUTV Channel 2 Fresh Living Fresh Off the Set Podcast Interview General Therapy Episode—Interview of Christy Kobe, LCSW, CCTP by Interviewer Elora Murray from Fresh Off the Set
Q: WHAT ARE SOME SIGNS THAT IT’S TIME TO SEEK OUT A THERAPIST?
A: When something emotional, mental or in relationships is negatively impacting your ability to function at home, work, school or in relationships, it would be a good idea to seek out the assistance of a therapist.
This could be:
-when you feel so much anxiety that it’s difficult for you be effective as a parent or focus at work
-when stress you are experiencing in one area of your life is really bleeding over into another and preventing you from being present or effective in that other area or relationship in your life
-when you’re getting so upset by things that you’re not able to complete your responsibilities
In cases like these, a licensed therapist can assist you in deepening your understanding of the issue, working through it in various ways, and increasing your skills for effectively addressing or coping with it.
Other signs could be:
-when you find yourself going over and over a situation or thoughts in your mind or find your thoughts spiraling
-when you are feeling overwhelmed, confused or resentful in a relationship and keep repeating the same unproductive patterns of behavior
Q: WHO IS THERAPY FOR?
A: Therapy is for people who want to create change within themselves and their lives, and are willing to put in the effort and time required to do those things. It’s more likely to be effective for people who are:
-open to engaging in a process of exploring things with their therapist,
-willing to pay attention to their feelings, thoughts and what they notice in their body,
-and committed to put forth the effort to implement changes in between sessions.
Therapy is for also for individuals who want to be more aware of and take better care of their mental health and relational health, which are every bit as important as being intentional with our physical health.
Q: WHAT KINDS OF THINGS DO PEOPLE GO TO THERAPY FOR?
A: There are really a wide variety of reasons someone may seek therapy such as:
-to work through your tendencies to be a people pleaser or a perfectionist
-to figure out how to parent your kids in healthier ways than the ways you were raised
-to gain a better understanding of why you’re feeling anxious and what you can do about it
-to develop skills for managing stress more effectively
-to develop your skills in setting boundaries
-to address issues that are preventing you from getting good sleep
Q: WHAT IS THE GOAL OF THERAPY? ALSO, WHAT KIND OF SKILLS CAN WE LEARN?
A: The goals of therapy often include the types of skills we hope to develop through therapy. There are usually multiple goals of therapy, which depend on:
-the issues you are seeking help with,
-your desired outcomes for the process, and
-the therapeutic approach being used by your therapist to address the issues the two of you identified.
If you’re seeking therapy for anxiety, your goals might include working with your therapist to identify the things that are triggering your anxiety, resolving the causes of those things to the extent possible, and developing healthy skills for coping with those things that we can’t resolve.
Therapy for trauma, on the other hand, is often about making connections between what is happening in the present and what happened to you in the past. So, the goals of trauma therapy might involve integrating the fragments of what gets triggered from your past emotionally, mentally, and in your body and nervous system, so that these trauma buttons don’t get pushed nearly as frequently or intensely and so that the effects of being triggered don’t last as long. Trauma therapy may also involve developing skills in mindfulness, self-compassion and working through your feelings more effectively.
If you’re seeking couples therapy, your goals might include the two of you gaining a deeper understanding of each other and each other’s feelings, needs, wounds, and desires in the relationship; developing more effective processes for working through conflict in your relationship, and developing skills for creating a more mutually satisfying connection with each other.
Q: WHAT CAN A PERSON EXPECT FROM THERAPY?
A: To better answer this question, I’d like to say a little more about what therapy is. Defining therapy can be challenging because there are so many different approaches to therapy and so many different therapists and clients, so no two therapy sessions that are exactly the same. However, in a nutshell, I would say that therapy is a collaborative process of working with a licensed therapist to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, others and your environment, as well as developing skills to enable you to have a healthier, more meaningful and fulfilling life, work and relationships. This process can involve healing old emotional, mental and relational wounds so that they are no longer holding you back.
In therapy, you can expect your therapist to ask you a lot of questions in order to be able to understand your history and the relationships that have shaped who you are and your current situation. Your therapist’s questions will also help you to unpack things and see things more clearly, on a deeper level and from different perspectives.
During this process, you will probably feel a wide range of feelings and you will likely be asked to work on new skills and tools in between sessions because coming and talking about things is only part of the solution—doing things differently in between sessions is also a key part of making changes. in your life, relationships and environment.
Q: WHAT KIND OF A MINDSET SHOULD WE HAVE GOING INTO THERAPY?
A: A growth mindset, which means that you believe in the fact that your abilities and skills can be developed through commitment and hard work.
It’s also important to keep in mind that genuine healing and change will likely require significant effort and time invested into the therapy process. If you have decades worth of experiences and relationships that are feeding into your current struggles, know that you are not going to be able to work through decades of stuff in just a few months of therapy sessions.
As with anything that is genuinely rewarding and meaningful, there is no short cut or quick fix.
Q: WHAT’S A COMMON MISCONEPTION ABOUT THERAPY THAT YOU’D LIKE TO ADDRESS?
A: One of the most common misconceptions about therapy is that therapy is only for people who are in a state of extreme distress or crisis.
In reality, therapy is it will be more effective, less time consuming and less expensive if you start it before you’re in crisis, and by starting therapy when things are less severe, you can avoid getting to the point of being in crisis.
Q: WHAT’S THE MOST COMMON PROBLEM YOU SEE WITH PATIENTS? (WHAT HINDERS THEM FROM LEARNING DURING THERAPY?)
A: One the most common problems I have seen is clients not being able to create momentum, significant change and progress due to the client not meeting frequently enough, for long enough sessions and for a long enough period of time with their therapist before ending their therapy.
In order to create therapeutic momentum, significant change and progress with my clients, I use 80 minute sessions with all of my clients because longer sessions are the gold standard for resolving things like trauma and relationship issues. The 80 minute sessions really allow us to identify and explore what’s going on beneath the surface, so we can address those underlying causes which can lead to genuine healing and lasting, long-term change within you, your life and your relationships. I also ask that people who want to work with me commit to meet a minimum of once every 2 weeks, and I encourage people to commit themselves to a period of at least 6 sessions before considering pausing or ending their therapy.
Q: WHAT TIPS DO YOU HAVE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO THERAPY?
A: Generally, the more of yourself you invest in the therapy process, the more you will get out of it. This means being open with your therapist and sharing things so that she has an accurate and complete picture of things from which to assess your situation and make recommendations. Taking an active role in the therapy process also means avoiding any mind altering substances like alcohol or non-prescription drugs the day or two before your therapy sessions, so that you can get the most out of the process.
Some clients also find it helpful to purchase a journal/notebook which they bring to each session to record insights from their sessions, the goals they are going to work on until their next session, and notes of anything that comes up in between sessions that they would like to discuss at their next appointment. Other clients find it more helpful to record such things in a dedicated notes folder on their smartphone. Regardless of which format works best for you, such a journal enables clients to stay on track and concretely view how much progress they have made through their therapy process.
Q: HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOUR THERAPIST IS A GOOD FIT FOR YOU?
A: Whether a therapist is a good fit can entail a lot of things and can vary from one person to another based on what they are looking for in a therapist and from the therapy process.
However, generally speaking, a therapist is a good fit for you if you feel like you can trust your therapist and speak freely without fear of judgment from your therapist. It’s important that you feel heard, seen, supported and emotionally safe with your therapist.
In a good working relationship with a therapist, you will also feel a sense of connection with your therapist and feel like they care for you as a person and your well-being.
A therapist who is a good fit for you will be mentally present, attentive and responsive to the things you say, and will take an active role in the session which usually means they will do more than just listening and nodding their head, such as asking questions to slow things down and explore something in more depth, exploring potential solutions with you, or gently challenging you.
A good fit therapist will also demonstrate respect for your self-determination, meaning that they respect your authority and autonomy to decide what you feel and think it best for you—as long as you’re not endangering yourself or others.
Since therapy began, research has repeatedly shown that the relationship you have with your therapist—which is often called the therapeutic alliance—is consistently the thing that accounts for the greatest amount change in the therapy process. So, the quality of the relationship you have with your therapist is incredibly important.
You can listen to the full audio of these questions and answers below:
For Answers to other common questions about therapy, click the link below:
Why Do I Need Boundaries?
Developing the abilities to set and hold boundaries are very important abilities for protecting your mental, emotional, and physical health, your time and your energy—all of which have limits. Working with an experienced therapist, can help you identify what areas of your life and relationships could benefit from setting and enforcing some new boundaries.
Why Do I Need Boundaries?
Boundaries can help you to honor your feelings, needs, preferences, values, integrity, and emotional and energetic capacities, all of which are key aspects of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Developing the abilities to set, hold and enforce boundaries are very important abilities for protecting your mental, emotional, and physical health, your time and your energy—all of which have limits.
When Setting a Boundary, what do I say?
Ideally, a personal boundary defines what is okay for you and what is not okay for you. A boundary is not telling another person what to do. Rather, it is telling another person what you will do.
I’m Worried People will be Upset with Me for Setting a Boundary…
Keep in mind that people who get upset with you for setting, holding or enforcing boundaries are the people who were benefitting from your lack of boundaries.
Brene Brown wisely said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others”.
Where Can I Learn More about Setting Boundaries?
Setting and holding boundaries can be easier said than done, especially if we haven’t had someone teach us these skills and model how to apply them in our lives.
Working with an experienced therapist, can help you identify what areas of your life and relationships could benefit from setting and enforcing some new boundaries.
Additionally, the 2 books shown here by Nedra Glover Tawab and Melissa Urban are excellent resources for deepening your understanding of boundaries and how to effectively set them.
Please note that I will receive a small amount on purchases made from my website in return for directing people to the books I recommend most highly as an experienced therapist. However, I have been recommending these book to my clients, friends and family with no compensation for years, and will continue to recommend these particular book even if I don’t receive any compensation whatsoever.
How Does the Out-Of-Network Reimbursement Process Work?
I am considered an out-of-network provider for all insurance plans. If your insurance plan includes mental health benefits and if you’re wanting to seek out-of-network reimbursement from your insurance company, it’s important for you to understand how the process works and what it requires, along with it’s disadvantages and potential benefits, so that you can make an informed decision about whether it’s the route you want to pursue or not.
At a minimum, seeking reimbursement from your insurance company requires that you meet criteria for a mental health disorder diagnosis. I can assess you for such a diagnosis if you request this of me up front. This assessment is something that usually takes a few session to complete. If you meet criteria for a mental health disorder diagnosis, that diagnosis will then be put on your permanent medical record when you submit for out of network reimbursement. After you submit your diagnosis on a superbill which I can provide you (containing information about the therapy services you’ve received), your insurance company will make a determination of whether they believe therapy is a “medical necessity” for you.
If the insurance plan decides therapy is a medical necessity for you, your plan will then notify you directly of the amount of therapy services for which they will reimburse you and number of sessions they will allow, which reimbursement usually applies after you have met have your deductible in full. These specifics vary by insurance plan. There is also a chance that you will go through that process and your insurance plan will decide that therapy is not a “medical necessity” for you.
One of the most important things for you to know about this process is that if you choose to submit for reimbursement from your insurance company, this subjects my records about you to the requirements of the insurance company and waives your rights to privacy and confidentiality as if I were paneled with the insurance company.
I am a fee-for-service, private pay therapist, which means that you are responsible to pay the fee for each session at the time of the session. Many of my clients pay for their therapy with their health savings account or flexible spending account, while others pay with cash or credit card.
I am considered an out-of-network provider for all insurance plans. If your insurance plan includes mental health benefits and if you’re wanting to seek out-of-network reimbursement from your insurance company, it’s important for you to understand how the process works and what it requires, along with its disadvantages and potential benefits, so that you can make an informed decision about whether it’s the route you want to pursue or not.
At a minimum, seeking reimbursement from your insurance company requires that you meet criteria for a mental health disorder diagnosis. I can assess you for such a diagnosis if you request this of me up front. This assessment is something that usually takes a few sessions to complete. If you meet criteria for a mental health disorder diagnosis, that diagnosis will then be put on your permanent medical record when you submit for out of network reimbursement.
After you submit your diagnosis on a superbill which I can provide you (containing information about the therapy services you’ve received), your insurance company will make a determination of whether they believe therapy is a “medical necessity” for you.
If the insurance plan decides therapy is a medical necessity for you, your plan will then notify you directly of the amount of therapy services for which they will reimburse you and number of sessions they will allow, which reimbursement usually applies after you have met have your deductible in full. These specifics vary by insurance plan. There is also a chance that you will go through that process and your insurance plan will decide that therapy is not a “medical necessity” for you.
Most insurance plans don’t cover couples therapy to address relationship issues. However, if you're interested in having your insurance help pay for your couples therapy, I'd recommend you call your plan and ask them specifically whether they cover couples therapy without giving one partner a mental health disorder diagnosis.
One of the most important things for you to know about this process is that if you choose to submit for reimbursement from your insurance company, this subjects my records about you to the requirements of the insurance company and waives your rights to privacy and confidentiality as if I were paneled with the insurance company.
It is also important for you to know that the therapeutic services I provide are based on what I determine—based on my clinical training, experience and judgment and the collaborative process of working with you—will best assist you in meeting your therapeutic goals. My focus is on doing what seems to be in your best interests and will provide the maximum benefit to you—not necessarily on what particular diagnosis, treatment modality or session structure an individual insurance plan may be willing to reimburse.
It is your responsibility to find out and follow your plan’s policies in the process of seeking out-of-network reimbursement. Insurance companies have many rules and requirements specific to each individual plan and do not make it easy to obtain reimbursement.
As a result of the above factors and others, the majority of my clients choose not to seek reimbursement from their insurance plan, because they decide that the disadvantages of the insurance process outweigh the potential benefits, and they want to keep everything they share with me confidential and all decisions about the therapy process to be made by them and me.
During your phone consultation, I will get some information from you in order to briefly assess your situation and then recommend the type of therapy I believe will be most beneficial to you. I will share with you the set session fee for that type of therapy at that time so you know what to expect.
Best and Most Recommended Parenting Book
This is the best parenting book. I recommend this book so highly and more often than any other parenting book to those I work with is that research has found that the factor that predicts a child’s success most in life is their emotional intelligence. This book teaches and simplifies the research-validated process of enabling your child to develop that emotional intelligence using decades of research from parent-child pairs in whom the child developed emotional intelligence.
Children with whom their parents effectively used this process show a multitude of positive outcomes including being better able to control their impulses, delay gratification, motivate themselves, cope with life’s ups and downs, regulate their own emotional states, bounce back from stress, take on responsibility, and carry on productive activities among many other positive behaviors and benefits.
Most parents are aware that there are a LOT of parenting books out there. However, this is one of the most research-based parenting books available, and it gives you tools to better understand your style and to focus on the interactions, relationship factors and communication that matter the most with your child. This book can be applied with a child of any age and research has shown that even a non-custodial parent using this process can be enough to develop emotional intelligence in their child. I literally have entire bookshelves full of parenting books. However, this one is my very favorite and I highly recommend it to you.
If you recognize that you could use additional assistance, support and guidance beyond what this book can provide, please reach out to me by email or phone to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to explore how I could assist you.
As a society and as individuals, we say our relationships with our kids and our kids' wellbeing are some of the very most important things in our lives.
Yet, what have we done to take an educated approach to our relationships with our kids and our responsibilities of raising them to be healthy, resilient and well adjusted adults?
Reading and applying the simple process described in this book is one of the best ways—and one of the simplest ways—you can improve your relationship with your child AND improve your child's well-being and life skills.
Parenting is one of my clinical specializations, and a relationship with which I love to assist people.
My formal training in parenting education began in 1997 when I was employed as a parenting educator. I have found that assisting parents in improving their parenting and their relationships and communication with their children can have long-lasting, far-reaching and incredibly meaningful impacts on both parents and children, and that those improvements often have positive ripple effects in the other areas of their lives.
As a result, parenting it is an area in which I have continued to study and obtain advanced training and certification over the past 20+ years, so that I can provide the highest quality and most up-to-date therapy services to individuals and families.
In those 20+ years of training and working with parents, the book I recommend most often and most highly is Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman PhD with Joan DeClaire.
The reason I recommend this book so highly and more often than any other parenting book to those I work with is that many research studies have shown that emotional intelligence (a.k.a. Emotional Intelligence Quotient or EQ) is the best predictor of how a child will turn out.
This book teaches and simplifies the research-validated process of enabling your child to develop that emotional intelligence using decades of research from parent-child pairs in whom the child developed high levels of emotional intelligence.
Children with whom their parents effectively used this process show a multitude of positive outcomes including being better able to control their impulses, delay gratification, motivate themselves, cope with life’s ups and downs, regulate their own emotional states, bounce back from stress, take on responsibility, and carry on productive activities among many other positive behaviors and benefits.
Most parents are aware that there are a LOT of parenting books out there. However, this is one of the most research-based parenting books available, and it gives you tools to better understand your style and to focus on the interactions, relationship factors and communication that matter the most with your child.
This book can be applied with a child of any age and research has shown that even a non-custodial parent using this process can be enough to develop emotional intelligence in their child. I literally have entire bookshelves full of parenting books.
However, this one is my very favorite and I highly recommend it to you.
If you recognize that you could use additional assistance, support and guidance beyond what this book can provide, please reach out to me through the contact form on this page to reach me most quickly, or you may also email or call me to request to schedule a 45 minute phone consultation to explore how I could assist you.
Please note that I will receive a small amount on purchases made from my website in return for directing people to the books I recommend most highly as a therapist. However, I have been recommending these books and others to my clients, friends and family as long as I have been working in the social work and therapy professions. And, I would (and will) continue to recommend these particular books even if I don’t receive any compensation whatsoever.
Choosing a Therapist who is a Good Fit for You
Choosing a therapist who is a good fit for you is an important, personal decision. Each therapist has certain types of people with whom they work most effectively. I’ve put together a list below of some of the traits and behaviors of clients with whom I’ve achieved the best results in my work. I might be the right therapist for you if any of the following apply to you:
Choosing a therapist who is a good fit for you is an important and personal decision. Each therapist or counselor has certain types of people with whom they work most effectively.
So, I’ve put together a list below of some of the traits and behaviors of clients with whom I’ve achieved the best results in my work. I might be the right therapist for you if any of the following apply to you:
You worry about the future.
You spend a significant amount of time thinking about situations or relationships.
You enjoy learning new things, and try to learn from your mistakes.
You try to improve things by identifying what you can do differently and working on that.
You feel guilty or anxious when you displease others.
You have very high expectations of yourself.
You are a sensitive person, and like to understand what happened and cause and effect.
You put others’ needs before your own, and end up feeling resentful sometimes.
You want to be able to talk through a problem.
You want to help others understand why there is a problem.
You are self-reflective and take responsibility for solving problems.
You view life as an opportunity to improve yourself and enjoy developing your capabilities.
You are willing to change in order to improve a situation or relationship.
You feel overwhelmed with your current struggles.
If any of these things sound like you, I hope you’ll contact me using the contact form on this page to reach me most quickly, or you may also email or call me to request to set up a 45 minute phone consultation. I’m looking forward to meeting you and playing a part in your journey!
What is Loneliness and How Does it Affect Us?
Loneliness causes us to shut down socially, and to be more suspicious of any social contact. We become more hypervigilant, more likely to take offense when none was intended, and to be afraid of strangers.
Loneliness is best defined as the sense that you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else.
To help a depressed or severely anxious person out of loneliness, they need more love and reassurance than they would have needed before they became lonely. The saddest part about this to me as a therapist is that many depressed and anxious people receive less love and reassurance as they become less enjoyable to be around. As they receive judgment and criticism from others, their retreat from the world accelerates and their loneliness deepens and increases.
If you would like to learn more about these findings and what you can do to decrease loneliness, I would strongly encourage you to buy the book below and begin to apply the principles to your life. It’s one of the best books I’ve read on the subject of depression and anxiety in many years.
What is loneliness?
Research studies have determined that feeling lonely is different than simply being alone. In fact, the sensation of loneliness doesn’t actually have much to do with how many people you spoke to in a given day or week.
To the contrary, some of the most people who report feeling the most severely lonely are those who actually talk to lots of people everyday. This is due to the fact that these people don’t perceive these people they are talking with as meaningful connections with another person.
To experience relief from loneliness, you need not only other people but also to feel that you are sharing something with the other person (or group) that is meaningful to both of you.
It is essential for you to both be engaged together in something you both think has meaning and value. And, the relationship has to be reciprocal or two-way, and to include a sense of “mutual aid and protection” according to researcher John Cacciopo. [1]
So, loneliness is best defined as the sense that you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else.
How does loneliness affect us?
Research studies have found that extended loneliness causes us to shut down socially, and to be more suspicious of any social contact.
We become more hypervigilant, more likely to take offense when none was intended, and to be afraid of strangers.
This is a paradox because we start to be afraid of connection which is what we need more than anything when we are lonely.
Researcher John Cacciopo calls this a “snowball” effect where disconnection spirals into even more disconnection. [1]
People who are lonely have been found in research studies to be scanning for threats because they unconsciously know that no one is looking out for them and thus know that no one will help them when they are hurt.
The good news is that this “snowball” effect of loneliness can be reversed. [1]
However, to help a depressed or severely anxious person out of loneliness, they need more love and reassurance than they would have needed before they became lonely.
The saddest part about this to me as a therapist is that many depressed and anxious people receive less love and reassurance as they become less enjoyable to be around.
As they receive judgment and criticism from others, their retreat from the world accelerates and their loneliness deepens and increases.
If you would like to learn more about these findings and what you can do to decrease loneliness, I would strongly encourage you to buy the book below and begin to apply the principles to your life.
It’s one of the best books I’ve read on the subject of depression and anxiety in many years.
If you would like additional support and professional guidance, please reach out to me through the contact form on this page to reach me most quickly, or you may also email or call me to request to schedule your 45 minute phone consultation.
1. Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression —And the Unexpected Solutions,
by Johann Hari
Please note that I will receive a small amount on purchases made from my website in return for directing people to the books I recommend most highly as an experienced therapist. However, I have been recommending this book to my clients, friends and family with no compensation, and will continue to recommend this particular book even if I don’t receive any compensation whatsoever.
The Best and Most Recommended Books for Couples Wanting to Improve Your Relationship
Although reading a book often isn’t enough to significantly change the quality and direction of a relationship long-term, I have found in my 15+ years of practice that books can be an excellent resource to enable couples to stabilize and improve their relationship more quickly, in combination with our work in couples therapy.
Although reading a book often isn’t enough to significantly change the quality and direction of a relationship long-term, I have found in my 15+ years of practice that books can be an excellent resource to enable couples to stabilize and improve their relationship more quickly, in combination with our work in couples therapy.
As a result, I am always looking for and reading books and other helpful resources to potentially recommend to my clients. Thus, I have read a LOT of books over the years and continue to do so.
With the desire for you to experience the benefits of quicker relationship improvement, and to make it easier for you to identify the specific books I most highly and most often recommend as the best books for couples, I’ve created this short list with links where you can purchase each book, along with a short summary of each to help you choose the one that’s best for you and your relationship:
1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John Gottman Ph.D. and Nan Silver
As a Gottman Method Couples Therapist, this is the Gottman research-based book I recommend most often and most highly to couples.
This book talks about the predictors of relationship breakup and divorce, and the antidotes to each of those predictors, that were identified by John Gottman and his colleagues in their research.
It provides multiple exercises to do with your partner to strengthen your friendship, information about positive and healthy communication and interaction, and information for improving your understanding of the conflicts in your relationship and what you can do to respond to those conflicts more effectively.
I genuinely believe that nearly every couple would benefit from reading and applying this book to themselves as individuals and to their relationship.
2. The New Rules of Marriage
by Terrence Real
This book takes things to the next level, and is a great tool for after you have mastered the skills in the two books I have recommended above.
This book will enable you to evaluate your intimacy as a couple in the intellectual, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual domains.
It provides a lot of information for helping you to better understand your perceptions of and reactions to your partner, how to more clearly express what you want and need in your relationship, communication errors to avoid, and guidelines for how to better listen to and respond to your partner.
This book will provide guidelines for creating a healthier, stronger, more passionate and romantic, deeply connected, life long partnership with your best friend and life-long lover.
If you are unhappy in your relationship, don’t feel like a team, or feel like your partner has shut you out, this could be an excellent book for you.
This book tends is especially popular among women.
If you recognize that you could use additional assistance, support and professional guidance beyond what these books can provide, please contact reach out to me using the contact form on this page to reach me most quickly, or you may also email or call to request to schedule a 45 minute phone consultation to explore how I can assist you.
Please note that I will receive a small amount on purchases made from my website in return for directing people to the books I recommend most highly as an experienced therapist. However, I have been recommending these books and others to my clients, friends and family as long as I have been in practice, and will continue to recommend these particular books even if I don’t receive any compensation whatsoever.
SLC Therapist, Utah Therapist and EMDR Therapist Utah
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