Top Myths About Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah—Shared by SLC Therapist, Christy Kobe, LCSW, CCTP, EMDR Therapist Utah

Photo of mountains in Winter covered with snow and evergreen trees —SLC Therapist Christy Kobe, LCSW, CCTP, EMDR Therapist Uah

As a therapist in practice in the Salt Lake City area for over 2 decades now, I have seen and heard about many people’s struggles to understand what therapy is. Almost everyone can benefit from therapy and yet, I have found that our local communities still don’t talk about therapy as openly as we could.

I’m guessing you’ve landed on this page because you’re longing for a change. Maybe you are trying to figure out what you need and what to expect if you start seeing a therapist in-person in the Salt Lake City area, or what to expect if you start seeing a therapist by online therapy as a resident of Utah. Maybe there’s another part of you that has heard some things about therapy that are leading you to hesitate rather than reach out. If this resonates with the dilemma you find yourself in, I’ve written this article to explore some of the top myths about therapy and to help you better understand what is accurate and what is not.

Myth #1: Therapists are just a friend you pay to listen to you complain.

As a SLC therapist, I don’t think the objective of therapy is to complain. While talking about your struggles can be part of therapy—and part of understanding where you’re at and where you want to be—the objective is to help you to create significant shifts in how you relate to yourself, the world and the people in your life. My clinical education, training and expertise, and my experiences working with thousands of people in the past 20+ years, enable me to do that more effectively than complaining to a friend would do.

The type of therapy I do what is called “depth therapy”. Whether you are meeting with me in-person as a SLC therapist or meeting with me via online therapy, I want to help you identify and work through the causes of your struggles to the extent possible so that you can experience genuine healing and transformation, and make the real, lasting changes you desire.

This is a very collaborative and active process in which we partner together in working toward the individualized goals we set together. This process is gentle, kind and compassionate, and is done at a pace that feels comfortable to you. Therapy isn’t just about talking openly in sessions. Therapy is also about practicing what we talked about in between sessions to positively transform your life.

My relationship with you will also be different than a friendship in that our working relationship will be both professional and confidential in nature, in order to provide you with the highest quality therapy services and maximize your growth and development through the therapy process. In contrast to a relationship with a friend, my role is to hold space for you and lend my clinical expertise to you as you identify what you want and as I support you in working toward that. I don’t give advice per se like a friend might nor do I have an agenda regarding what you “should” do as your friends and family may have. I respect your autonomy and your fundamental rights to determine what you feel best about doing because YOU are the one that has to live with the consequences of what you do or don’t say, and what you do or don’t do.

Myth #2: Therapy is something only rich, privileged people do.

Almost everyone can benefit from therapy for their mental health, emotional health and relational health. I believe therapy should be an important part of all of our lives just like we go to the doctor and dentist on a regular basis. As an experienced SLC therapist, I wish that therapy were more accessible to everyone and I wish therapy was considered a human right for everyone in our society.

I totally get that there are times when participating in therapy can require us to really prioritize what’s most important to us to spend our money and time on, and I am committed to creating a therapy plan with you that is worth prioritizing therapy at this point in your life. You may be elated and relieved to find out that you can use your health savings account funds and your flexible spending account funds to pay for your therapy. I also understand, from both personal and professional experience, that participating in therapy may not be feasible, financially or otherwise, at some points in our lives.

Myth #3: Therapy will last for several years or even continue for your entire life.

In my work with clients as a SLC therapist, I have often said that one of my goals is to work myself out of a job. Or, in other words, one of my goals is always for you to get to the point where you’ve received the support, guidance and professional expertise you need from me and gone through the growth and development you were seeking, so you are ready to graduate from therapy and continue on independently without the support of therapy.

We will usually set therapy goals together during your first session and we will explore your progress towards those goals in a number of different ways. As part of this process, we will spend part of our sessions together exploring how the things you were practicing in between sessions went and then fine tuning things in order to achieve your therapy goals. We will also discuss what changes you’re noticing and how you’re feeling about things throughout the process as part of continuing to monitor where you stand in relation to your goals. Your confidence and clarity will increase as you apply and practice these new things in between sessions.

I work with my clients to empower them to effectively internalize and integrate their insights, emotional and physiological experiences, and new skills developed in therapy and to experience some new successes so they feel confident about themselves and their capabilities before they graduate from therapy.

While some clients need only 6-12 sessions to achieve their goals, others may need several months to a year, and in some cases, a few years of therapy are needed. I can give you a more accurate timeline for what we can accomplish and in what estimated time frame after I have completed your assessment during the first few sessions.

I really value open, transparent communication and I think it’s incredibly important to have realistic expectations about what you can expect from therapy and in what time frame. Many people seek me out because of my clinical specializations and unique approaches to treating complex trauma, nervous system issues, and relationship issues as a SLC Therapist and as an EMDR Therapist in the Salt Lake City area. If you are coming to therapy with multiple decades of trauma and relationship issues and unhealthy strategies, it’s important for you to know that therapy may take a couple years. However, you are always at choice and in control of when to stop or take a break from therapy. I would also encourage you to assess whether you are experiencing any benefits from the therapy process after we’ve completed the assessment process and identify what those benefits are. If you have questions or concerns about the process or the changes you are hoping for, I welcome you sharing those with me when we meet.

Myth #4: Your therapist is just doing this for the money.

While my clients do pay me for my clinical expertise as a SLC therapist, I did not choose to become a therapist just for the money. I chose to be educated, trained and licensed as a therapist—which process takes a minimum of 8 years—because I deeply care about people and I understand the importance of having meaningful support through our struggles. I’m passionate about helping people who have experienced trauma and who have been wounded in relationships, and have dedicated my career to helping thousands of people who are experiencing pain and suffering. This is my vocation.

Many people mistakenly believe that therapists are making an hourly rate of what you pay them per session when the reality is that most therapists spend a great deal of unpaid time in your behalf researching, consulting, completing clinical trainings, sending emails, scheduling appointments, and coordinating care with another provider just to name a few. Moreover, in order to provide you with more personalized care and a higher quality of services, many therapists choose to go into private practice which also comes with a lot of overhead expenses that cut into their take home pay.

If I were choosing a profession for the money, my choice definitely would not have been becoming a therapist which has unfortunately, been consistently the most poorly paid masters degree holding profession for decades.

Myth #5: You shouldn’t expect to see real changes from going to therapy

If you’re willing to put in the work, you will definitely see and experience real changes from working with me as a SLC therapist. Regardless of what you are currently struggling with, one overarching goal and outcome of therapy with me is that the frequency, duration and intensity of clients’ struggles decrease through our work together. Most clients can also expect that I will help you to feel seen, heard, and understood. I’ll also help you increase your understanding of yourself and your experiences; help you to better understand and work with your nervous system; and help positively shift how you relate to yourself, your life and the people around you.

Myth #6: You might end up dating your therapist

I would NEVER consider dating one of my clients to be ethical or appropriate. Ever. Period.

Moreover, my professional code of ethics as a social worker from the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) clearly requires maintaining strict professional boundaries when it comes to romantic or sexual relationships with clients. Section 1.09 of the NASW Code of Ethics specifically outlines a fundamental expectation for all social workers and makes it very clear that such relationships are never appropriate and, in most cases, are unethical regardless of consent, timing, or mutual interest. This boundary has been set in order to protect: the client’s vulnerability to influence from a social worker, the client’s safety, the integrity of the Social Work profession, and the ability to exercise sound ethical judgment.

I hope this helps you find the right therapist in the Salt Lake City area. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to contact me here to schedule your 45 minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to get a brief summary from you about what you’re looking for help with, and help direct you to the right person.

If you are looking for help with trauma, you can read more about how I can help by clicking the button below.

If you are looking for help with feeling overwhelmed, stressed or burned out, you can read more about how I can help by clicking the button below.